60 Days

Al celebrated his two months of sobriety! WOW... right!!? As you can tell by the picture I'm all gitty with happiness? I'm on a Jesus high! I can't stop smiling... FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!! He has me full of hope and joy again. He's been engaging in deep conversations with me... even with my brother and sister-in-law. (His Godparents) He talks to us on a regular basis now and he invites us to his meetings. With every conversation he has with us he breaths NEW life into us... into me! He even makes sure to spend an equal amount of time with each of us on his days off. :) He showing us care, concern and that we each matter to him. When I hear my family talk about how Al called to tell them about his day I get all misty eyed and sentimental. I can tell by the looks on their face that means the world to them. I so much enjoy watching him love on them and I enjoy the smiles he gives them. (His core family) He's remembering where he came from and where he belongs! WITH US!

When Al was on heroin we never saw him. He stayed away, we saw him maybe 5-6 times in a year. Each of those times where heart wrenching. He was skin and bones... a hollow vessel going though the motions. At times it was worse seeing him than not seeing him. Because we couldn't do anything to help him. He was so engulfed in that world that he couldn't hear me, he could see he was losing himself. I have a picture of him on his 21st birthday. His skin was this bleak greyish color and he looked as if his soul was being held hostage. Although he smiled for the picture it was just a mask to hide his pain and I could see right though it. I remember that clearly. He was there but a million miles away. I remember when my niece sent me that picture in a text message I took one look and just broke down and sobbed. It's hard to believe that was only 4 month ago.