Dear Mariah

Today is the 3rd anniversary of Mariah's death. My son wrote this on her memorial page on Facebook. We love and miss you Mia! 

Dear Mariah,

It’s been three long years since you left this earth and it seems like yesterday we were in the Chevy listening trey songz. I'm sorry I haven’t checked in with you as often as I have in the past, life is busy and time just seems to fly by. I know your there still, i see humming birds all the time and i know that's you stopping by to check on me. I also know I’m not the only one you keep a watchful eye on. I saw your sister last night and oh my god Mia she is so beautiful and so intelligent (she gets that from you), I am keeping my promise and holding her close. She misses you but we all miss you, sometimes at night I think I hear your voice and a part of me forgets you’re even gone. My momma has your picture in the living room she struggled at first but somewhere along the line you gave her peace and now she helps young women who are lost and needing the guidance to battle there demons. Steven is going to be a fuckin doctor haha you definitely called it on that one, you’d be so proud of the heart this young man has. As for me I came to the conclusion the day you died a piece of me died with you. I started a string of destructive behavior with women having meaningless relationships just so I didn’t have to feel alone. I was blessed tho I had beautiful men and women from the program who picked me up before I even had the chance to fall they showed me that I wasn’t alone for that I’m grateful. I picked myself up and began to heal I focused on my mental health putting in the time constantly figuring out how to love myself again. As cliche as it sounds time heals all wounds and as the wounds turned into scars I told myself I was going to live my life for you and whatever came with it I would be at peace with it. 

I met someone Mia, my friend told me his wife was looking for new MA at her job and something inside of me told me to take that leap. That’s where I met Angie and if you met her you guys would be as thick as thieves she actually rejected me on eight different occasions when i asked her out hahaha so yeah you’d get along great. She has a daughter named Nova she is one of the most beautiful little souls I’ve ever met, that was no coincidence. I have fallen in love Mia and it’s fucking terrifying because the last time I loved something like this, something this strong, it slipped out of my hands. For the longest time up until last night I felt this guilt inside of me simply because I’ve finally obtained this new found happiness in my life. I know now that you would never want for me to be unhappy simply because I believe you were the one who put all of this in motion with your guidance. You were tired of the tears and wanted to see me happy again like the man you met. So I thank you for watching over me and placing these two beautiful ladies in my life. I need you to understand that you are as much a part of me as the color of my eyes, who I am as a person today is because of you. So I’ll see you on the good days like the day I get married and the day I have my first child p.s. please be a boy. So no goodbyes just see you later, I love you.


-With Love,

Mon Loup